My Secret Life...

I don't know how many times I've contemplated this and for one reason or another simply given up, knowing I would likely be thought of as a liar or delusional or both. Reason being, I am married to a man who is admired and liked by almost everyone who knows him (family excluded) and just about everyone would find it incredibly hard to believe anything bad about him. But I think it's reached a time for me to come clean, even if it's only to talk to someone...
I will have to talk about the current situation and work backwards I think because that would be easier for me.

My husband is an abuser. In the last year or two that has escalated from verbal and emotional abuse to physical. He is shrewd, as most abusers are I'm told, always making sure there are no outward signs of abuse. A wrenched arm or a shove to the ground, anything that could to covered up by saying I fell on my own and hurt myself.

picture 1
Most of my injuries have come when I've tried to phone the police for help and he's grabbed a wrist or twisted my arm until I fall to the floor and dropped the phone. Picture number one here is an example of him twisting my arm so hard that my elbow swelled up to twice it's size and turned black and blue, then yellow and green. You can see by comparing to my other elbow in the photo how much it swelled. It took nearly two months before I was even able to lean on it.

So many people have asked me why I didn't just phone the police when he wasn't at home. Good question, but my reason for calling the police in the first place was just to get help so he would stop hurting me -- once he was stopped, I don't want to phone. And the reasons for that are many!

picture 2
Photo number two is what I thought were broken index and middle fingers but since I didn't visit a doctor and I'm able to use them again now, I don't know. The index finger was rigid for about three weeks but I eventually got it to bend again, though not with the range it had. My husband and I share the same doctor which makes it difficult for me to go to him with any sort of injury. Unlike my husband, I am not a good, or practiced liar. He has a silver tongue and like O.J. Simpson, comes off as just the greatest guy. I will expand on that more later.

pictures 3 and 4 - these are somewhat blurry because they were taken holding a SLR Nikon in one hand and shooting into a bathroom mirror late at night.

I will finish this when time allows...there is a lot to tell since I've been holding back for most of my marriage.









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