I know I have a lot to worry about personally, but I worry about my cats too. They are really the only 'children' I have now and I love them as such. They don't understand what happens most times and have gone from loving, calm pets to at times, cowering fearful ones when he is like this. They run to me in another room, and paw and meow at me to make it stop...if only I could!
I went looking for the Flip video recordings that I have of his 'outbreaks' only to find many of them have been deleted. There are only three now and all from the same month so this might explain how they got missed in a delete. I'm not sure if this was done by accident or whether he found them and deleted them, but they are gone. The recordings have no video really...I ran the Flip only from a safe place in the house and caught just the audio of his tirades. It is hard for someone else to imagine I suppose, but these three short audios are Greg hanging a curtain, dropping soap and not able to find a receipt. But in truth, it wouldn't matter what he was doing when he feels he needs to do this - washing his hands, getting a drink of milk, or just sitting watching TV. Many times when he's watching TV I have to get up and leave the room because I can't take the hatred and screaming. Sometimes about politics, or just as often during a hockey game but as I've already said, it could be a cartoon or a commercial - when he needs to, he just goes off for any reason. Somehow, something pushes his ON button and away he goes!
I've never inserted a video/audio from my own personal library before so I hope I get this right.
The first is when I was in the den and he was hanging a curtain in the morning room. That is two plus rooms away but I still got this where I was sitting. He had placed the rod on the sofa behind him but then couldn't find it behind him.
The next one is done with me sitting downstairs and him upstairs in the bedroom.
To preface this, he is terrible for emptying his pockets into drawers and he panics and gets extremely angry then when he can't find a needed receipt for a return or to check a date of purchase. It's made harder by the fact that he keeps every cash tape and bill of purchase from as long as 10 years back and has to go through it all. I'm no doctor but I think this is obsessive/compulsive behavior which both he and his mother exhibited. At any rate it's another quirk I have had to live with and at times even found amusing...until it impacts me. I have had to move things in order to get his clothing into drawers and he will go ballistic about that - about me touching "his things" at which time I get verbally and emotionally abused about that as well. Trying to clean and keep closets tidy and not looking like a reality show on TV are a real trick!
So at Xmas time and birthdays, I give him nice storage boxes or decorative tins etc for him to keep his hoardings in. But they sit empty, shoved on a shelf somewhere while he continues to dump in drawers and the closet floor.
This next video/audio is done when he couldn't find something. This isn't rare - in fact very common. As I listen now, I realize I hear this at least once a day and sometimes a dozen times on days when he's at home all day.
This time it was a receipt he needed to return a cd. I made a few attempts to upload it and for some reason even though it's identical to the one above, I continued to get error messages while uploading. So I uploaded to my You Tube account and listed it as private but you may use this link to access the video. I'm sorry for any inconvenience here. Just click on The Receipt.
This last is a short little blurb which got cut short because he was coming downstairs and it was worth my life to be caught doing what I was doing. The dropped soap...
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